Continuing this series: http://enerpacsays.blogspot.com/2014/01/some-posts-on-dating.html
It doesn't exist. A list, I've never made one. Everyone tells me I have one that is too tough, that no one will measure up. But they have nothing to measure up to. But I decided after the last bad date where I decided to never date again (with the accuser of my being a picky lesbian) that I need to make a list. So here we go, I'm going to try to make a list.
1 - Has drive
- Just because I've had success in my career doesn't mean I want to be the breadwinner. Do I like my job? Yes. I do work for a religious organization, a non-profit. I don't make a lot of money. Sort of on purpose. I don't want guys to think I'm a power hungry girl, because I'm not. Remember the who asks who post - another way guys can step it up, is supporting their family (unless they legitimately can't work. But being lazy, or just wanting to play all the time and not hold down a job - that doesn't fly with me.)
- I'm really attracted to guys who do what they love. Even if it doesn't make tons of money, hopefully it makes enough to live by. So riding a motorcycle all day, and doing nothing else? I'm glad you love motorcycles, but maybe you should sup-up that engine, attach a trailer and at least tow product for a company so you can make money riding that motorcycle all day. Bad example, yes. But hopefully you get my point. When guys make it work to do what they love. Super hot. Just sayin'.
- I'm a really great cheerleader, and will offer much encouragement where needed. But I'm not a slave driver, I'm not going to make someone do something. I want a man who wants to provide, and will work hard to do so. "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." That is a lot of responsibility, but I'm super supportive and am really good taking care of a lot of things, so will help make other things in life a lot easier for you. For real. We'd be in it together...
- I'm LDS. Not everyone in my family is though. A guy in college once told me we could date anymore because his patriarchal blessing says he'd marry a girl from a good family, and I wasn't one of those girls. WHAT?!?!?! Obviously, he hadn't met my family. My family sort of rocks. True story. We've got tattoos, a guy who's hair is longer than all the girls put together, motorcycles, microwave free homes, environmentalists, republicans, extreme republicans, on the line republicans, and yes, democrats too. We've got smiles from here to tomorrow, respect and love for each other, support, someone you can turn to when times are tough, memories that go on forever. Just because we differ in our religious beliefs, that doesn't influence how we treat one another nor others. One word for that guy, LOSER!
- I remember a roommate in college was dating this guy for a short while and she decided they needed to go to therapy. Um, if it isn't working out, move on. Yes, if you are serious, or you are engaged or you are married, couples' therapy is a great way to help you learn to communicate better. It is a great place to help sort things through with the assistance of an uninvolved third party. I've been to therapy. It's super healthy and good for you. Therapy is not for changing your companion into the person you want them to be though. That's why we date, right. We are looking for that right person. Not the person that fits some perfect, unattainable mold, but someone that still just fits, just feels right. I prefer not to judge people. And so, to some people, I have friends who I just shouldn't be friends with. (I bet they are pals with LOSER.) But I love them. I think they are great. They make me a better person, and hopefully they feel the same of me.
- I don't think you have to be LDS to be my friend. And I'm not going to force you to share my beliefs. I'm happy to share them with you, because I feel very strongly about them. I'd love to learn more about your beliefs that differ from mine. I'm not going to tell you I am right and you are wrong. Please show me the same respect.
- Date story for you. I went out with this guy who spent the whole date, in my mind, trying to convince me he was a good guy. (Good as in, good morals, good standards, etc - bragging about being best friends with a son of one of the 12.) So he tells me this story. While in high school, the stake president lived next door to him. My date said that he just could not believe the behavior of the wife and daughters of the Stake President. He said they had the nerve to lay out around the pool in two piece swimsuits. The nerve. I of course had to pry a little (really because he'd said so many things that night that took aim at things I do, things that are not wrong nor bad.at.all.) So I asked questions such as: "Is the pool in their back yard?" "Does the yard have a fence?" "Did they wear them to ward activities or neighborhood parties, etc?" I learned, they only wore them in the backyard, a yard with a high brick wall around it. I told him that I'd come to conclusion then that he was a peeping Tom, because these women weren't on display, they were in the privacy of their own home. And we should respect the privacy of others. Oh my.... judge, judge, judge.
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