Continuing this series: http://enerpacsays.blogspot.com/2014/01/some-posts-on-dating.html
Image from: http://mpadegree.org/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-a-career-in-public-administration/
First of all, I need to state that YES, I know it is worth it. That doesn't mean you don't battle with the doubts though.
Back to what everyone likes to tell me, about how you are better off single and happy than married but miserable. Dating can be miserable too. Even good dating can be miserable in the sense that you don't know what the other person is thinking, am I falling more than they are, where is this going, etc, etc.
A few years a go a friend from a previous ward emailed asking me some questions about a guy I knew, that her friend wanted to get to know. Somehow the conversation evolved just into a discussion on dating history and how I had one and she had none. She'd made the comment about how she wished she knew what it felt like to be loved, and I replied that I sometimes wish I didn't know, because that makes it more difficult at times. (Though it is also part of why I can start out with my first statement of this post.) I can also make you want to keep going to find those feelings with someone new, until something happens that sparks those feelings of doubt again. Oh the envy I have for people who found a (A, not THE as there is never just one) right one.
You start to dread the starting over, the going through the ups and downs again, regardless of how good the ups can be. It takes longer and longer to open up every time. You struggle to act completely like yourself, unsure of how the other person will initially react (I can be sarcastic, not everyone appreciates light sarcasm). Because, again, is it worth it? Is it worth it to let someone in, to see who you are? Is it worth going through the efforts again?
Yes, it is. But I'm not sure if I'll ever get there.
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