A member of my current bishopric and I grew up in the same ward. Every once in a while, we talk about growing up. This morning he was mentioning that he had a distinct memory of me when were were in high school, how I was this smiley, happy girl. And I've been thinking about that today. There was a lot I struggled with growing up. But always, being around friends, most friends, has been a happy place for me.
Because of my comfort levels with friends, as I have mentioned before, people can often mistake me as an outgoing person. Or as a touchy/feely kind of gal - I'm not comfortable giving strangers hugs, in fact it is honestly an effort I have to make to give friends who like to hug, hugs. Dating a guy is a different story, but not someone I don't know.
Chances are I'll also have a big smile on my face most of the time when I am with friends. Despite what is going on inside, putting on a smile helps me feel better.
I had a quick chat in passing with a friend at Church today. I've noticed for a while lately that she just looks great. She never looked bad, so don't think that. I've noticed she has lost a bit of weight lately. But it isn't the thinner appearance that leads me to think she looks great, it is the smile on her face. I don't know if she has more confidence because of the weight loss - but people notice the confidence I think more than the appearance.
When you buy a new dress that you like and you think looks good on you, and you carry yourself well when wearing that dress - it doesn't matter if you are wearing a size 14 dress or a size 2 dress or a size 8 dress, people are going to think you look fabulous. It's how you carry yourself.
I've talked about the whole happy alone vs happy dating before. When dating someone, you just feel better about yourself, you carry yourself in a different way. Even for me, who some people characterize as a happy person, people notice when there is an extra spring in my step. It makes me feel good when someone shows interest in me, who I could be interested in. And even when things don't go anywhere, it still can make me feel good thinking, well, maybe there was some interest there by him.
So even if you aren't feeling great about yourself, find something to make you smile. Take a break to watch a funny movie. Read the funny pages. Listen to a funny book on tape (digo, CD or your iPod, etc). Take a bath. Find something to bring a smile. People will appreciate the happiness and will be happy around you, and next thing you know, even if it was forced at first - you'll feel actually happy.
Don't worry, be happy friends.
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