I Do It, And I Won't Stop, But Why It Is Difficult

Continuing this series: http://enerpacsays.blogspot.com/2014/01/some-posts-on-dating.html.

Image from: http://www.edusentials.co.uk/early-years/active-designs/blind-folds-pk-5/prod_629.html

I had a member of one of my Bishoprics who always reminded us that we should give someone three chances (three dates) before we make up our mind about them, unless it is really obvious that it isn't going to work out.

I try to follow his advice. Usually I'm the one after three dates that just doesn't think it is going anywhere.  And the truth is, when you are shy, it usually isn't until the third date until I am comfortable with the person and I am not as shy.

I went out with someone a couple times at the end of the year. Friends have been, I know with good intentions, called things out, saying they should be held back at first. For example, I'm sarcastic. I like humor. I like to laugh.  While on a date, we ran into someone he'd known from college. As we left the venue, he mentioned, randomly, that he was surprised she didn't remember his at first since they'd made out in college.  Kind of a random thing to mention, but I immediately wanted to respond, but held my tongue because I was advised to hold back on the sarcasm, "OK. Note to self. Never kiss you. Apparently it is a completely forgettable experience."  I didn't say it, I held my tongue. But in doing so, I held back on who I am. I'd mentioned the story to a friend who said he was proud of me for holding my tongue. It was the second date, I was still testing the waters. But, wait, good job hiding myself? My personality? I realized I don't want to be hiding who I am. Taking a while to warm up and open up is different from not being myself when something in me wants to peak through. I was read for the third date, ready to open up.  But this date is one of those referenced in this post about calling and not calling. He said he would, soon, and didn't.

I'm not really used to that, the guy not calling again. I guess I got a piece of my own medicine.  But it also shows me that I need to be better at opening up quicker and not trying to actually hide anything about myself. The guys I've dated for long periods, we started out as friends. We started to get to know each other before we started dating - so we didn't have to get to know each other in a dating setting, it was in a casual platonic setting and then changed. Oh, the easy days...