Continuing this series: http://enerpacsays.blogspot.com/2014/01/some-posts-on-dating.html.
It's been interesting posting these. I've had comments on the blog, emails sent just to me. Some phone calls. Some people telling me I hit the hammer on the nail. Some telling me I am totally wrong. Some saying my experiences or opinions are interesting. But at the end of the day, that is what they are. They are my experiences, they are my opinions based on those experiences.
It is very different being 38 and single and dating than someone who married at 19 or 20 or even 25 or 30. Our dating experiences are very different. The men are very different. Our personalities are very different.
Some people to chose to change themselves for others. I had a roommate who after dating a guy for a few weeks decided the y should go to counseling to work on the difficulties they were having. I am of the opinion, my opinion. that you are only dating, if things aren't working, you move on. (And thankfully she did, she is married to someone she loves dearly, they have adorable children - as as a married couple, should things be challenging and they feel the need to visit a counselor, more power to them.) Another friend and her fiance decided that it would be of benefit to visit a counselor prior to their marriage to discuss with another party best communication, decide together how they'd like to raise children, etc. Good idea. They have already decided to marry, they've already committed to each other - it is wise to have such discussions and discussing with another unbiased party is wise as well. But this was not counseling to change each other, it was a discussion.
I think that even when marriage has become trying, when the parties have moved in different directions, it almost seems like seeing a counselor at that time is to help return to you were, or how to live together and accept who you now are. It is to work together with the person you have committed to, to work things out together.
But I think the thing is, we are all unique. We all love differently. (Maybe one of these days I'll get around to ready the love languages book.) We all act differently. We all how different tastes, different preferences, different opinions, different interests, different likes and dislikes. We are all different. And there are people who can compliment us with their differences. Not just one person, but hopefully one that we have the blessing to find in our lifetime. And once we find that one, that we'll cleave to them and do all we can to make things work, forever.
But I need you to know that I am not wrong for my opinion. I am not to be judged because my experiences have been different from yours. Just as you are not wrong for your opinions, nor are to be judged for your experiences. They make us who they are. Should they differ, it's just one of the reasons why you and I are not married to each other (if you are male) nor am I married to your spouse (if you are female), nor interested in him (not that I'd be interested in another's spouse - grody to the max, gag me with a spoon folks.
So please don't criticize if you disagree. Let's all be nice.
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