Three Strikes, You're Out!

When it comes to guys, I am not exactly girly with my system of elimination. Three strikes, You're Out! is how I play it. Yes, unfortunately I have wavered with some guys, not played by the rules and given them some extra innings. It's never led to a win, obviously, so really I should just stick to the rules of the game.

But some guys don't even get three strikes. They get one GINORMOUS strike that counts as all three strikes. Case in point...

Last night I went to a farewell party for a friend. There was a plethora of single guys and girls. It will probably come as no surprise to you, that when I attend a party, I just stuck to those people I know. I network, right? I meet people through my friends. I also prefer to stay away from the crowded rooms because I don't care to YELL at people as I'm speaking to them.

Unfortunately two of my friends whom I hadn't seen in a really long time were in the kitchen, the major gathering spot. So as we were yelling at each other, this guy walks up to us that my two friends knew, but I'd never met. He was a pretty good looking guy. The following conversation ensued:

him: I'VE NOT MET YOU BEFORE, I'M BRIAN, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (of course the caps imply that he was yelling at me.)

me: CAPRENE (oops, so much for an anonymous blog)

him: WHAT?

me: CAPRENE

him: WHAT?

me: CAPRENE, LIKE THE CAPRI PANTS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW, PLUS AN N

him: DUDE! WHAT A HORRIBLE MOTHER YOU HAVE. YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE YOUR CHILD A NAME THAT THEY HAVE TO SPELL IN ORDER FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND.

me (not vocalized, but thought out in my brain): Are you for real? (note: I do not yell at myself when I am thinking, thus no caps here.) Did you really just insult both me and my mother? Are you for real? I LOVE my name. I am named after my grandma, someone who means a lot to me. So really, you just insulted me, my mother and my grandmother -oh buddy, that's one, two, three strikes - You're OUT! You should just move along.

my friend: SHE HAS A COOL FIRST NAME. BUT HER MIDDLE NAME IS MY FAVORITE MIDDLE NAME EVER.

him: OH REALLY? WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?

me: DELIGHT

him: WHAT!!! YOUR PARENT'S ARE SO MEAN!

me (again in thought only): Dude, just stop talking. You already struck out. This game is not going into extra innings. Accept defeat. Man up! Just walk away - please!

I do not care to have anymore run-ins with Brian. I don't care how good looking he was.

You're Out!

Note to all men everywhere: If you are trying to make a positive impression on a female, regardless of the situation, do not insult her. Do not insult her mother. Do not insult her grandma. Duh!!!