Sometimes, You Don't Know What to Say

While serving a mission in Uruguay, in one area, my companion and I taught the Moroni family (no, fellow Mormons, not a joke - true story) and helped them join the Church. I remember when Mary, the mom, told us the story of her daughter. She had taken her own life a few months before. The story was so sad. The situation had been difficult for the daughter. Everything in her life just came to a head, and she felt there was no other way out. She shot herself, and died from the injury. Mary was asking us what was in store for her daughter. Asked if she would ever see her again. I'd remembered what I'd been taught about suicide. I remember what I learned happened to those who end their own lives. But all I could say was, we don't really know, we need to trust in our Father in Heaven.

Before serving in Mary's area, my companion, then, and I taught the Martinez family. We loved this family. When we met, it was Nilson, Elisa, Catarina and Yanina. Elisa was very pregnant when we taught them. She was worried about being baptized while being so pregnant. But she, Nilson and Catarina were baptized. A little while later, Sebastian was born. (My grandmother made and mailed this blanket down to me to give to them.)

We kept in touch a little after the mission. They continued in the Church. They went to the temple. But then a very unfortunate thing happened which caused them to leave the Church. All these years later, about three years ago, I reconnected with the family via FB. We caught up, we've stayed in touch. 

Today, I was crushed to learn that Elisa took her own life this morning. Unfortunately she learned that Nilson has been unfaithful and the depression led to this. And I have to tell myself, I need to trust my Father in Heaven. I cannot imagine the pain one feels that leads them to belief the only option is to end your life. Sebastian isn't even 16 yet. Catarina just became a mother less than a year ago. The pain the family is now experiencing. My heart just aches.

I taught the lesson in Relief Society today.  I felt really strongly to take the lesson in a very different direction. I felt I should remind us all of Elder Bednar's talk about choosing not to be offended. I shared the thought he'd share with less active members he would visit,

“Let me make sure I understand what has happened to you. Because someone at church offended you, you have not been blessed by the ordinance of the sacrament. You have withdrawn yourself from the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Because someone at church offended you, you have cut yourself off from priesthood ordinances and the holy temple. You have discontinued your opportunity to serve others and to learn and grow. And you are leaving barriers that will impede the spiritual progress of your children, your children’s children, and the generations that will follow.” Many times people would think for a moment and then respond: “I have never thought about it that way.”

Now, what happened that turned this family away from the Church, it was very wrong. It should never have happened. And something should have been done to the offender (as in, excommunication level of punishment folks.) But nothing happened. They were hurt, they left. But I just fall back on Elder Bednar's quote. They let this offender's actions keep THEM from the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It kept THEM from the continued blessings of the Priesthood and of the temple. Elisa's grandson doesn't know the gospel. 

I learned today that Elisa had started meeting with the missionaries again. She was starting on that pathway back. And while I am trusting in my Father in Heaven today, I am wishing that she had only made that same decision a few days ago and not made the desperate choice she did this morning.