Set Ups

I've always loved this comic. It's been on my fridge for years. I have to admit, I've sat across the table from a few fellas and this comic has popped into my head, and I've wanted ever so much to have the guts to quote this comic. But I have refrained and just told myself to be patient, some day I'd meet someone I would like to take home. Now don't get me wrong, and don't go thinking after yesterday's post that I've never dated anyone that I wanted to take home. If you know my dating history, it's full of too long relationships, that actually provided ample time to take someone home. I just haven't done it.

Jeremy and I were talking about dating while visiting my folks. Really, each time I sit in his chair in his salon we talk about it, but recently we've been talking about blind dates. I remember in college, people would ask if I would object to them setting me up with someone, I never objected, but they never set me up. It might have had something to do with how there was usually someone in my life, so maybe they didn't think I'd really go out with them. I was quite good at setting people up in college. There were more than a handful that I set up who married. But I set people up because I really thought they'd be good together. Sometimes, yes, it was because a friend wouldn't give up until I set her or him up with another friend, and I just did it to get them off my back. But most times, even if they didn't marry, they did date for a while. Over the last few years, people have been asking again if they could set me up with someone. Again, I don't object, and lately, they've actually set me up.


I am starting to realize why people object to blind dates. I used to think that when someone wanted to set me up with a guy, it was because we had things in common. The person thought we would get along well. You know, they think the way I do when setting two people up. Can I tell you? You don't set two people up because they practice the same religion and are single. Nope, it takes a little more than that.

Looking back at guys I have been set up with... I was set up with one guy who had it all. He reminded me a lot of the guys I dated when I was younger, when I was a little more confident. He was handsome, smart, athletic, great personality. I found myself unfortunately feeling well out of his league. I really wish I had my confidence of yester-years again. I was very flattered that my friends thought we would hit it off.

A coworker set me up with his son a few years ago. Again, a really great guy. I still had some confidence at this time. Unfortunately, we went out the week before I was schedule for two back surgeries over the next two weeks. So I was out of it for a few weeks, he lived an hour away, and it just sort of fizzled. Bummer, huh?

Then there's the rest. Now please know, I really did give up on getting married a long time ago. But that doesn't mean I won't welcome the opportunity should it present itself. Nor does it mean I'd settle to marry just anyone.

I hope that doesn't sound rude or pretentious. Settling is not a word you want to hear when speaking of dating. Again, it's embarrassing to think really how little I think of myself, but it hasn't helped going out with some of the guys I've gone out with. Which of course makes me feel even worse because who am I to judge them? I just wonder what my friends think of me? They must not know me very well to think I would get along with some of these guys. And then there's the side that makes me feel awful. My friends, I know, would not set me up with someone they didn't think highly of. And they tell me how great the guy is when they ask if they can set me up. So then I feel really bad that I just don't think much of the guy, don't feel like we'd mesh well, and here he's a good friend of my friends. Ugh!


I think the next time friends want to set me up, I'm going to request it be a double date. If my friends think we'll get along, they can steer the conversation to the topics where they think we'll have a good conversation. I don't want to give up on blind dates. Even if I've never gone on a second date with a blind date. That doesn't mean some haven't asked. I believe in giving a guy a chance. But when I'm miserable on a date, and that's putting it nicely sometimes, why would I want to go out with them again?

I am a horrible person!

So, from a single girl to everyone else: There's nothing wrong with setting two people up. I'm all for it. Just think about what you are doing. Think about why you want to set them up. You may think they are great people, but do you think they'd be great together?